goa baby

i'm in goa. sat on the beach in fact - the bar we are at has laptops that they bring to you, how cool. the weather is fantastic, the water is warm and it is fab. i came here to have a bit of a break from the day to day hassles of indian life, but that has proven to be a dream, every 5 minutes someone comes up to try and sell you shite necklaces, sarongs, fruit, drinks, trinkets, massages. i was starting to get a bit annoyed around lunchtime but once i accepted that while i was in india, i would have no peace everything was lovely again. dogs and cows roam the beach, one dog taking a poo right near us which was gross. again, i just had to realise that i was in india and i had to leave my western opinions and sensibilities at home.

i went to the osho meditation resort in pune a day or 2 ago and lasted 2 hours. i have never been to a more unfriendly, stressful place. i went there to try and get inside my head a little bit, to be calm and have some peace in which to explore myself. it turned out to be the most stressful experience i have had here so far. pune is a horrid city, dirty, full of touts and noisy. the second i got off the train i was hassled by rikshaw drivers, pushing me, jostling me, telling me they had "very good room good price" and my trick of completely ignoring them didn't work they just became more aggressive "listen is free sir, listen to me" etc. i really need to start emitting stronger get lost vibes. so i checked into my ridiculously expensive hotel at osho (1200 rupees for 3 nights) and went to register in the meditation resort across the road. it was closed. ok, i'll go grab some food back at the hotel. "sorry sir, this is for guests only" said the guard at the gate, an ageing english hippy bloke. "i am a guest, let me in please" i replied, confused as he had just seen me and the porter going in. "show me your ID card" said the guard, starting to get pissy. "they didn't give me one" i replied. i was starting to lose my rag a little bit (the train journey was 2 hours longer than it should have been, leaving mumbai at 6am - i was tired, dirty and just wanted some goddamn food in my overpriced hotel!!) and so it went on. i went to get some lunch and was stared at by about 500 people in red robes as i was wearing normal clothes because the welcome centre was closed. when i got to the till i was told that they didn't deal in money, i would have to go and buy a meal card. so i went back to the other side of the road, bought a meal card and headed back. the hippy had been replaced with a younger (but still wrinkly and grey) french hippy. the same rigamarole about guests only etc. before i could go in. i went and got some food, was ignored by the 3 people i said hello to, and looked for somewhere to sit. as i approached tables with spare seats, bags and books were suddenly put on chairs, and people spoke to one another behind their hands as they looked at me. i ate alone, and then went to get a robe. 3000 rupees for the robe. at that point i thought "screw this", went back to my room, grabbed my bag and said to hoggy "let's go to goa mate" before going to the hotel reception and kicking up a royal british fuss to get my money back. bunch of elitist hippy arseholes, where's cartman when you need him?

all the trains to mumbai leave in the morning, so i was faced with a night in the hellhole that is pune, or a bus journey back which claimed to take 3 hours. i took the bus, and whilst it took 3 hours to get to mumbai, it took another 2 to get to the centre. i was not a happy bear. i jumped into a cab to colaba and near cst my driver was pulled over and fined for running a red light, taking half an hour more. the one bloody traffic cop who does his job in mumbai and he gets my driver on the night when my new found attitude towards patience and tolerance toward others was being severely tested! on colaba causeway i had a bloke come up who insisted i go and stay with his cousin's hotel, even though i had told him about 10 times that i had a room already. i then took a leaf out of sarah macdonald's book and yelled "look, will you just go the fuck away please?" to which he laughed, put his arm around me and said "why so angry friend? here, have a cigarette and tell me about it". he agreed that i had had a day of it as we walked down the causeway and he said sorry for hassling me. when you least expect it india really surprises you.

i bumped into hannah and kim from aurangabad in the piccadilly cafe, which has become my morning haunt for caffeine and newspaper reading in mumbai. they had gotten the overnight train the same as me but a day later and had just arrived back in mumbai. i offered them my room to dump their (enormous) bags in exchange for some company for the day. we had a wander to cst, then up to crawford market, full of fruit and veg stalls which were so aromatic and colourful. we took loads of photos of the peppers, big bowls of garlic etc. and ate some fresh fruit from one of the stalls. we had lunch at a local place for 17Rs (a huge minced lamb kebab and roti) and then jumped in a taxi to chowpatty for ice cream and on to the banganga tank for some holy water washingness.

that evening we had a beer before they got the bus to goa, i was getting the train as the konkan railway is supposed to be one of the prettiest trips in india by rail. and boy are the supposers right?! the scenery was just beautiful, the track winds through the western ghats all down the west coast from mumbai to kerala, through the deccan plains in the north (another orgy of volcanic scenery) passing through villages, fields, mountains, the longest tunnel in asia, the highest bridge in india, and then on to jungle as we hit goa. i met a couple of interesting people on the way, mostly i had the 4 berth cabin to myself but for a few hours i was with one of the doctors hired by the railway company for employees and their families. the conversation we had lasted about 3 hours and covered everything from cultural differences to the way to happiness. he was a really interesting chap and i thoroughly enjoyed talking with him. later on one of the linen porters, knowing that i was the only person on the train with a compartment to myself, ducked in for a lie down. he adored hoggy, talking to him in kannada and stroking him (the hogster approved of the stroking.) we spoke about his family, his work, and how he was enjoying being a bachelor. he worked as a contractor, unlike his brothers who were employed directly by the railways. he has no days off, but hegets to spend a night in goa each week which he said was great, and because he has no time to spend his earnings he has a big fat savings account, which he also said was great. all too soon he had to go back to work, and i said goodbye to him and that i was pleased to meet him in my fledgling hindi which he seemed really happy about.

i got to goa 4 hours late. the girls had reserved me a room but were very sketchy about where it was (that or i wasn't listening when they called to tell me about it... you decide :D) so i jumped in a rikshaw and asked to be taken to anjuna beach which is where i was pretty sure they said they were. scariest ride so far, the oncoming traffic was non-stop, how the thing stayed on the road i have no idea as the approaching lights were blinding. at one point his wife called, so we had to stop while he spoke to her. he seemed to be getting told off about something, and as he put the phone down he said sorry, shrugged his shoulders and said "women huh?" which made me smile.

when i finally got to anjuna nobody had heard of my guest house, but one with a similar name was at the end of the road. i headed down the unlit street behind the beach convinced i was going to be mugged, raped and my body parts sold to the highest bidder. hannah and kim weren't at the rooms with the similar name, so i headed back to the lit area. just as i was about to give up i saw the guesthouse, back from the street hidden by coconut trees. i whooped, and headed to the nearest restaurant. sure enough there they were, sporting new suntans and big grins. i felt a wave of relief and sat down. we laughed at how late i was but it sounded like their bus trip was awful. they had to sit with their huge bags as the driver said they wouldn't be safe, the windows wouldn't shut so the night air froze them, and the main speaker blaring the soundtrack for the hindi movie at full volume was right above their heads. the driver seemed determined to kill them and by all accounts came close a number of times. we headed to a beach shack bar and sat and had some food and drink listening to bob marley. i was in goa :D

today has been all about the tannage, sitting in the palm-lined beach in the hot hot sun, taking the odd swim and generally chilling out. well, trying to anyway. we're going to try and find a party somewhere tonight but we aren't too hopeful as thursday is apparently "no for partying night"

i don't care what we do, i'm in goa. i might head to another beach further south tomorrow as my room sucks, only 200 Rs but i had 3 gekkos for company last night and a cockroach or 2 in the minging bathroom.